UPDATE: I added two more! These ones are actually sorta funny, too.
EARLIER: Starting this week, cigarette packages will carry even MORE graphic messages and pictures about the dangers of smoking. As usual, the US government went through a LOT of messages before selecting the ones that ultimately ended up on the packages.
Top Five Rejected New Slogans on Cigarette Packages
#7. "Don't your farts smell bad enough?"
#6. "Hey, it's not like those guys on Mad Men are getting laid, right?"
#5. "Given a choice between cigarettes and meth, 4 out of 5 dentists choose meth."
#4. "Isn't the only one smoking in movies any more the villain? Who wants to be the villain in the movie of their own life?"
#3. "You know who else smoked? Hitler!"
#2. "Smoking no longer makes you look cool. Setting your pants on fire, THAT makes you look cool, mister!"
#1. "Hey, if you quit smoking, you'll have a free hand to text while driving."
Want to add your suggestion? Use the comments section below and show everyone how funny you are!