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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Top Five Signs Your Kid's Not Going to Win the #NationalSpellingBee

It's that time of year again: youngsters from the across the country are asked to spell words you and I have never heard of. Unfortunately, not everyone will be able to win the National Spelling Bee . . . especially your kid.

Top Five Signs Your Kid's Not Going to Win the National Spelling Bee (We actually have seven today!)

#7. He thought he could hide a list of words in his shorts, but pulling down his pants each time he was asked a word surprisingly caught the judge's attention.
#6. The only "writing" he ever does is text messaging his stupid friends and that one overly affectionate Math teacher. OMG!
#5. Somehow confused the Spelling Bee with WWE's "Monday Night Raw" and clobbered some kid over the head with a folding chair to dramatically end the first round.
#4. She was just a bit jittery after consuming about a dozen of those 5 Hour Energy Drinks and is having trouble focusing.
#3. The Vegas Mob has a LOT of money riding on that Asian kid from California winning and your boy is kinda fond of his kneecaps.
#2. Every time the judges ask her to spell a word, she angrily responds with "Can YOU spell it Mr. Smartypants? Well you can you, you stupid f*cking bastard?"
#1. Misspelled his own name on his name-tag; still not sure where he went wrong.

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