#5. At birth, you had a little tiny set of six pac abs
#4. Decided to run president of your freshman class in high school after the former president was mysteriously recalled and, for some reason, announced your candidacy on The Tonight Show.
#3. Oddly turned on by cleaning women.
#2. You have a half brother who looks like a miniature Danny Devito.
#1. Regardless of what question you're asked in class, you always respond with "I'll be back!"
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