The Iowa Caucuses are tonight (January 3, 2012) with a large field of Republican candidates vying for their party's nomination. Someone will win, but others will lose . . . and lose badly.
Top Five Signs You're NOT Going to Win the Iowa Caucus
#5. You're the only one at one of your rallies in a Star Trek uniform.
#4. Your campaign "war chest" would barely get you anything off the McDonald's Dollar Menu.
#3. When it comes to shaking hands and kissing babies you keep getting those two confused.
#2. Your policy on the Middle East is to send everyone to their rooms without supper until they learn to behave.
#1. The only pop star to endorse you was Miley Cyrus.
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