Lates Updates from BadJocks.com

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Top Five Reasons You Weren't Selected for Donal Trump's "Celebrity Apprentice"

Billionaire real estate mogul and reality TV producer Donald Trump just announced the cast for the next season of Celebrity Apprentice. A lot of people wanted to be on the show but didn't get selected. Why?

Top Five Reasons You Weren't Selected for Donal Trump's "Celebrity Apprentice"

#5. On more than one occasion, you accidentally refereed to Mr. Trump as Mr. Combover.
#4. Even Gary Busey looks at you and says, "That's one crazy, messed up dude."
#3. Your only claim to fame so far is NOT marrying a Kardashian sister.
#2. You insisted on appearing only in a masked pro wrestler costume and be called "Dr. Mysterio."
#1. You get all your business advice from the voices in your head and right now they'll telling you to buy Kodak stock.

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Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Top Five Signs You're NOT Going to Win the #IowaCaucus

The Iowa Caucuses are tonight (January 3, 2012) with a large field of Republican candidates vying for their party's nomination. Someone will win, but others will lose . . . and lose badly.


Top Five Signs You're NOT Going to Win the Iowa Caucus

#5. You're the only one at one of your rallies in a Star Trek uniform.
#4. Your campaign "war chest" would barely get you anything off the McDonald's Dollar Menu.
#3. When it comes to shaking hands and kissing babies you keep getting those two confused.
#2. Your policy on the Middle East is to send everyone to their rooms without supper until they learn to behave.
#1. The only pop star to endorse you was Miley Cyrus.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Top Five Signs Your New Years Resolutions Aren't Working

Did you make any New Years resolutions this year? Going to drop 20 lbs, quit smoking, maybe look for a job you lazy bastard?  Sometimes New Years resolutions work, and sometimes they don't.

Top Five Signs Your New Years Resolutions Aren't Working

#5. You want to quit smoking but the kid behind the register at the Butt Hutt is your only real friend.
#4. Once you stopped drinking, you realized just how boring your regular life is.
#3. No, looking one time at a pair of cute twins and thinking you wanted to date both of them does NOT make you a sex addict. Quit something else.
#2. You only got as far as "In 2012 I resolve to . . . " and then passed out drunk with a burning cigarette in one hand and a hooker in the other.
#1. Your resolution was to stop making New Years Resolutions.



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